Hello Peeps,
So this may be a bit controversial in subject matter and my opinions but I think it also it worth saying,
Recently I had the most exciting and happy news when I found out that my bestie Leppy had given birth to a gorgeous baby boy. With all of the happiness that this has brought and the pride I have felt towards my friend it has been a bit of roller coaster for me. (Selfish I know but I promise it will sound even worse as you read on)
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| Dublin!!! She will hate me for this pic. lol. |
Me and Leppy have been best friends now for almost 5 years and I can say it has been the best few years of my life. We have holidayed together, shopped till we dropped and had so many giggling fits I couldn't write them all down here. She has been my go to girl when it came to a cry on your shoulder moment and when you just needed to go out on the lash and forget the world. We are not in any stretch of the imagination spring chickens but when she came to me last year to say she was pregnant, all I can say was I was SHOCKED.
This life event is not about me... it's about her and her partner sharing something so amazing and starting the next chapter of their life together with their new bundle of joy. However all I could feel was jealousy and panic... what would happen to our friendship? It wasn't just me and her anymore there was going to be a baby in the way. There wouldn't be any impromptu shopping trips... no late nights on the razz stumbling back in the early hours hugging our kebabs.... no more holidays abroad or around the world which will bring us amazing giggling tales ( If you haven't ever seen a small blond girl wear all of her clothing at one time and then try and squeeze herself into her suitcase , you haven't lived). Was I going to lose my friend? Was my friend leaving me behind??
I began to question where I was in my life. I am a few years older than her and always thought that it would be me that would go through this first... and at the time I began to analyse every little thing I did. Why was I not ready to have child? Would I ever have a kid? Is my career really the be all and end all of everything? Do I even have a career? .... questions and questions whirled through my head.
As it came to the end of her pregnancy we had the now traditional baby shower, and I found myself sitting there with all of her new friends wondering if I still fitted in her life. Even worse than that staring at the ever growing bump in front of her I still couldn't get into my head that she was going to have a baby soon. That a baby was going to come out of her and be in the world. I think this is half the reason that I resisted in getting any presents... it didn't feel real and was still harbouring feelings of jealousy.
However, the time came .... and oh my god he is amazing and she is amazing. She brought him into the world at a lovely healthy 7lbs 11... and I wont go in to anymore detail as that's her thing really but here he is at 12 hours old.
Managed the trip to see him.. and yes the jealousy had subsided and I gave in and bought him quite a few adorable bits. I was actually scared and nervous of meeting him.. I know ridiculous that a 26 year old was scared of a small bundle little baby... but I was. But I shouldn't have been .... I have never seen anything so beautiful in my life, Not only Baby Leppy but Leppy herself. She looked tired obviously but she just glowed and that look and smile of pride on her face when she looked at him couldn't be beaten.
All of my fears have subsided and I know now this is not the end for me and her and our unusual antics but is the next chapter in her life, which I will be ever so proud to be apart of. I wish Leppy, Daddy Yorke and Baby Leppy all the best in their new little family.
Later Peeps. xxx
P.S Not only tried to use the event of the baby to cure my own fears but thought it would be a good time to see a bit of compassion or sensitivity from Blokey and took him along to meet Baby Leppy. Unfortunately I think all he actually got out of it was a great appreciation for their new leather corner sofa.Typical!! lol I'll try again next time then.
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